


2.5 Kids

by VoodooCircuitboard



Series: Cups Verse [1]
Category: Hijack - Fandom, How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Rise of the Guardians (2012), frostcup - Fandom
Genre: HiJack March Madness 2015, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 17:36:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11994678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoodooCircuitboard/pseuds/VoodooCircuitboard
Summary: Hiccup’s gonna do it! He’s gonna come out to his dad, no matter what happens. The last thing he expects is that his dad could have something to confess as well . . .





	2.5 Kids

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt:** Hijack March Madness Day 22 (Free)  
>  **Warnings:** language, bad humor, bad derivation oops  
>  **Summary:** Hiccup’s gonna do it! He’s gonna come out to his dad, no matter what happens. The last thing he expects is that his dad could have something to confess as well . . .
> 
> Originally posted on my tumblr, voodoo-circuitboard, until my account was accidentally deleted. The username has since been taken, likely by a bot. I'm waiting for the name to open up again. :c

“You got this,” Jack said. He swiveled in Hiccup’s desk chair to face him. He reached out and touched Hiccup’s knees. “It’ll be fine,” he soothed.

Hiccup glanced away, towards his doorless closet. His dorm wasn’t out of this world by any means. “I’m already twenty,” he started, an argument Jack had heard many times. He had a shifty little smile and wouldn’t make eye contact. “I’m old enough that I could probably never tell him. He doesn’t have to know anything about my personal life!”

“Uh huh,” Jack sighed. “Well, if you really think that, we don’t need to tell him anything. But . . .”

“But what?” Hiccup finally looked at him, eyebrows knotted in apprehension. “But what, Jack?”

“I’m really serious about you, you know that, right?”

“Uh . . . huh . . .” Hiccup answered slowly, tilting his head inquisitively. “Are you . . . are you threatening me?”

Jack lifted both hands into the air in surrender. “No way, buttercup. I’m just saying that it’ll be really sad if we get married and have 2.5 kids and your dad doesn’t know shit.”

Hiccup frowned at him. “How can you have .5 of a kid?”

“Maybe he visits his biological mother during summers! Whatever, that’s not the point, and you know it.”

It was silent for a moment. Then Hiccup spoke quietly. “Okay, you’re right. I said I’d tell him, and I’m not going to go back on my word. It’s just,” he took a breath, “hard, you know. It’s just us and I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him.”

“If he freaks, give him time to process. And if he really, really only wants to live vicariously through you and ignore who you really are, then fuck him. Besides, you got me and our 2.5 kids, right? We’ll be your family.”

Hiccup laughed and lunged forward to hug Jack. “You’re so stupid.”

\--

Hiccup usually went home on breaks anyways, so it wasn’t odd that he planned on rocking up unannounced during winter. His dad already knew the holidays were impending, after all.

They drove upstate in Hiccup’s cool sleek car. He felt guilty driving it since his dad had bought it; he felt guilty and tense and everything provoked him. Jack put his feet on the dash, rolled around in the seat, took naps with his face pressed against the window, and fucked with the radio. Basically, he irritated Hiccup hardcore.

“Jack!”

Jack shoveled gas station candy into his mouth with one hand, while the other was rummaging into the glove compartment without purpose. Papers fell to his feet. “What’s up, teacup, need a pick up?” He offered a piece of licorice.

“No! Gaaaaaaaaaaah, I’m going to drive this car straight off the overpass!” Hiccup tensed, shoulders squished up to his ears. He stared straight forward.

Jack laughed a little. “Haha, whoa. Chill out, Hiccup. It’ll be fine, just breathe.”

“How are you not nervous? Why are you always so carefree?”

“Carefree? Are you serious? You can’t tell I’m nervous?”

Hiccup bit his lip and glanced over with an apologetic face before returning his focus to the road. “Jack, I—”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I know what you’re going through.” Jack’s voice turned wistful. “When I told my dad, I thought I was going to die. He just nodded at me like ‘yes? I’ve always known,’ haha.”

“My dad isn’t like yours.”

“If something happens, remember, once we get married, my dad will be yours, too!” His glee made Hiccup smile despite himself. “He will just love our 2.5 kids, I know it!”

“Sure, sure,” Hiccup replied, turning off the main road to the residential area where his dad lived. Fuck.

\--

“Hey dad!” Hiccup called and he pushed the door open. Jack stood behind him. They were both empty handed, just in case Stoick didn’t want them to stay after all.

It was silent, but there were cars in the driveway. He walked into the house with Jack at his heels.

“Hiccup!” Stoick’s booming voice shook the poor kid’s bones. “You’re ah, you’re early, right? I mean, I didn’t expect you until next week sometime or something.” Stoick had come from the direction of the living room and was now blocking the entrance with his large frame.

“Uh, yeah. Hi dad . . .” Hiccup tried to look into the living room but couldn’t. “Am I . . . am I interrupting something?”

“What?! Haha, no! Why don’t you go grab your things out of your car and put them in your room!” There was an awkward laugh and Hiccup looked sideways at Jack.

“Uh . . . okay.”

“Well, off you go!” Stoick’s smile made Hiccup uncomfortable. “Good to see you again, Jack.”

Jack laugh-coughed. “Yeah, you too, Mr. Haddock. Well, I’d better go help Hiccup with those bags.” Hiccup glared at him.

Stoick nodded. “Yes, that’s a good idea.”

\--

Hiccup sat with Jack in the backseat of his car, bag on his lap. “Uh.”

Jack laughed, then covered his mouth with one hand. “Holy shit, Hiccup, am I allowed to say what I think?”

“Jack, my dad has someone over, doesn’t he?”

Jack beamed and slapped Hiccup’s arm playfully. “Buttercup, your dad is totally ream—”

“Stopstopstop, I don’t need to hear that.”

“Do you think they’re done now? Maybe she snuck out the back?”

“Ew, Jack, stop it, let’s just go back inside.”

“Haha, okay.”

\--

After they put their stuff in Hiccup’s childhood bedroom and stripped off their coats and shoes, Jack and Hiccup wandered cautiously into the living room. His dad sat on a large couch with a frothy glass of beer. Beside him sat his good friend Gobber. The scene was suspiciously ordinary.

“Oh! Hiccup, Jack! It’s been a while!”

“Yeah, hi,” Hiccup said, sitting on the couch across from the two men. Jack flopped down beside him without any reservation.

“Hey!” Jack greeted, and Hiccup bit his lip and scratched at his arm.

“Well son, how’s school—”

“Dad, this is Jack.” Hiccup waved his hand at his companion. Jack grinned.

“Hiccup . . . I know who Jack is. Are you all right? Are you tired from traveling? Why don’t you—”

“No, uh.” Now or never, now or never. Jack, 2.5 kids. “This is Jack. My boyfriend.” Strangely, Jack’s responding smile was unsure and nervous.

Stoick was quiet. For a horrible moment, all four of them glanced at each other in sequence. It would have been hilarious if Hiccup didn’t anticipate being disowned.

“Maybe we should leave. Jack, let’s go.” He stood up.

“Oh! Yeah, sure thing, buttercup.”

“Wait!” Stoick lifted a hand, “Don’t go, Hiccup. I’m not upset, just surprised. I thought I was gonna have Astrid as a daughter-in-law one day, you know?”

Hiccup quickly reached out for Jack’s hand and sat back down. He sat on the edge though, ready to escape if necessary.

“How long?” Stoick asked.

Jack piped up. “Three years, sir!”

Stoick rubbed his brows and nodded slowly. “What happened to Astrid, son? I thought she was your girlfriend all this time.”

“Um,” Hiccup looked towards the ceiling and shrugged. “I lied about that for a long time. But!” He looked his dad in the eyes, “Astrid’s in my life. We’re really close still, so . . .”

“I see . . .” Stoick turned towards Jack. “You treating my son well? Those axes on the wall aren’t just decoration. I promise, if you ever hurt—”

“Dad! He’s great, I swear!” Hiccup figured this wasn’t the best time to ruminate on how irritating Jack was.

“I’d never hurt your son, Mr. Haddock,” Jack answered like they were never interrupted. “I love him like I love myself. He’s my other half, for real! I never thought that expression would apply to me, but it totally does!”

Hiccup was red.

Stoick nodded at him and then nodded towards Gobber, who scooted a bit closer. Gobber said, “Right.”

“Okay. Son,” Stoick started, “this is Gobber.”

“I know who Gobber is, dad. I’ve known—OH MY GOD.”


End file.
